i hate cute couples unless they’re 50% me
I just realized that I grew up during a time where the crazy frog was a thing. Like that was an actual thing that happened, that blue fucking piece of shit frog took the world by storm and it even had a tiny dick and all it did was sing annoying songs while racing around sci-fi towns in a distant future on an invisible motorbike. I can’t believe this. How did that happen. Who LET that happen.
Someday you will realize that you’ve done too much for someone, that the only next possible step to do is to stop.
I would like to thank my arms, for always being by side. My legs, for always supporting me, and my fingers…because I can always count on them.
this will be my speech when i win an oscar
Don’t forget the hips, for not lying.