I guess I have crush on you.
I fell for your little smile you have on your face every time somebody does anything stupid. And I just love that smile you put on when you get excited about something, you just open your mouth, smile a little bit and your eyebrows go up. I love how random you can be. And you are smart, maybe you are even the smartest person I know but you still spent your time with me. Why? I am not smart or pretty as other girls. I´m just me and it seemed enough for you even though you were really awkward around me. You didn´t speak much but when you did it was something awesome. And you didn´t ask me anything. You were just there, sitting next to me.
And as days were passing by you were part of my little gang and I couldn´t go a day without talking to you. People didn´t think we were close but I guess we were, in some way.
You didn´t hug me often and you didn´t want to take a picture with me. Back then I didn´t care about it but now I regret that I didn´t force you because I could have at least something from you. You told me we would have plenty of time to take picture together but we didn´t.
The last day came sooner than we expected. I realized how much I would miss you. You have been just too special for me since the first day we talked.
The last morning came and I was looking for you as people hugged me. You came outside and in that moment my heart broke a little because saying goodbye to you was hard. You hugged me, I started crying even more and you tried to calm me down. I remember that you were sad as well. Your eyes were tired and I could see tears in them and your smile wasn’t as huge and shiny as days before. And since the moment I left till now I´ve remembered your smell and your little smile. And I miss you. Each day more and more.
But I still don’t understand how that could happen.
1. If he doesn’t answer, don’t keep sending texts. If he wanted to talk to you, he would’ve responded.
2. People will make time for you when they care about you. If he says he’s too busy or constantly cancels his plans, he doesn’t care. People fight for you when they care.
3. Don’t let him touch you on the first date. If he tries, he’s not there for the same reasons you are.
4. You can tell a lot about a person by their favorite book.
5. If he can stomach more than ten straight shots without feeling a thing, he drinks too much.
6. Ask the uncomfortable things. When was the last time he was so high he couldn’t speak? What does he regret the most? Does he drink to remember or to forget?
7. Don’t send pictures unless you want to. If he has to talk you into it, don’t do it. If you hesitate, don’t do it. If you do take a picture, don’t include your face. Keep yourself safe.
8. If you can’t laugh when you’re having sex with him, maybe you aren’t sleeping with the right person. Sex isn’t about tricks and tips and routines.
9. If he hurts you, cut him out. He’s gone, he isn’t coming back, and you don’t need to prolong the pain.
10. Don’t be afraid to open up again. I promise not everyone will love you with a knife behind their back.
When you are teenager you come to that stage of your life when you really wish you were in relationship. You want to love and be loved by somebody else than your family members.
Last night I was chatting with my friends from Asia. For them it was late night but somehow they didn´t care about time. We just talked. About everything and nothing at the same time. As time moved on we were talking about love. It strated with asking about crushes and if anybody of us ever had boy/girlfriend. And it came to that point where I felt really lonely. I don´t even know why.
Maybe it was because that guy and girl I talked to are actually really close to me and still, they are just too far away. Maybe it was because that guy is super nice and I wish I could meet guy with his personality. And maybe it was because I´m teenager and I am in that stage. I really want somebody who loves me.
And yeah, it is pathetic as F… but it´s just way how I feel and I know that EVERYONE feels like this when he/she is teenager. And even after that. The feeling you need somebody right next to you but still, you can´t fall in love with the right one.
Love is weird and fascinating at the same time.